Under the heading, be careful when what you wish for is open windows in the spring, that giddy feeling I had yesterday about that almost warm breeze filling the room has been replaced by a desperate search for Kleenex, drugs and a wastebasket.
A few years ago, when my eyes started telling me I wasn’t allowed to see most things close up, my body also told me all of the pretty flowers have consequences. I’m not crying because I’m happy or sad, I’m miserable. Well, I’m not really miserable; I just look that way. I take that back. I am miserable.
Now, I see an opportunity in all of this. If I can hide the fact that I’m oozing goo all over the place, I think I’ll take in a chick flick, or attend a wedding (even if I’m not invited). My red, puffy eyes will give away the fact I’m a caring and sensitive lug, a sort of wedding crasher with allergies. I’m told the ladies like that. There will be sympathetic hugs everywhere. He’s so sweet.
There’s another opportunity. As a person with significant inside information, I could buy stock in companies that sell antihistamines and tissues. I could become sort of a new wave Warren Buffet. What brand does he use? I’ve gotta be affecting somebody’s bottom line somewhere. I may be able to get us out of our financial rut single handedly. Tomorrow’s headlines could read “Tom’s Got Allergies, Recession Over”.