Saturday, September 11, 2010

what a shame….

A friend of mine, Jim,  killed himself a couple of weeks ago, shot himself in the head.

He was a former state patrol officer.  He knew my kids and my family.  He was always good to everyone I knew.

I’ve been trying to come to terms with what he did and how he did it.  He was 70 years old, but appeared much younger.  I coached baseball with him, and we talked baseball a lot.

He had a son who was an excellent pitcher, better than anyone I’d ever seen in this town.  The ball just exploded out of his hand.  When he was in high school, there would be five or six scouts watching him every game.  But, he had drug issues, and nobody wanted to take a chance.  That was devastating to Jim.

Two years ago, he contracted meningitis and it affected him, but not so much it was noticeable to anyone who didn’t know him.  But, he was different and it bothered him.

He called his son the day he decided to kill himself, so his wife wouldn’t find him.  He told him he needed the lawn mowed.

I think I know why he did what he did.   I’m hoping the way he did it wasn’t some sort of payback to the son who disappointed him so much.

And for me, I’ll never think of him the same again.  That is a shame. 


  1. Life is hard sometimes.....I am sorry for your loss....and the loss his family is suffering....and for his son....SAD! I have thought taking your own life is such a slefish thing to do....but that's just my opinion.

  2. Hi Linda,
    I agree with you, especially the way he did it. I just don't want to pass judgment. I've never "walked in his shoes". But the shoes he's left behind will be affected forever.

  3. Maybe you'll be able to be a friend to the remaining family as they deal w/ his loss and his method of leaving. There certainly aren't explanations that satisfy all the why's...

    Peace to you & Jim's family & friends.

  4. No judgment from me as it is with sincere sadness to learn of the deep and emotional pain that your friend may have harboured.
    My heartfelt condolences to his family, friends and former colleagues.